Poems about our world

              Free verse about: The state of the world                                  

Destinies Fool

Never meant to live in steel box houses

Asphalt scabs upon the land

Driving by in our steel toed horses

Faster then a dame coerces

The new man the great man the man not meant to be

In our race to touch the moon

We’ve forgotten how to see the stars

That are right in our midst

Living confined in light pollution

Noisy Grime and developed notions

Change a man to destinies fool

                                    Environmental End

It takes a thousand miles to find one tree

Not at all green but brown like feces

The world devoured by its own will to live

Forgets what the Children have to give

Growing up without a tire swing

The air like Venus becomes un-breathable

Hold your breath for a thousand seconds

Maybe you’ll find that one tree wretched like feces

In your thousand mile journey

But I doubt it it doesn’t have much longer to live

Why they’re chopping it down,

Now.

                                    Salute to Death

Hold your guns and hold them high

Twas the living now they lie

As corpses in the miry muck,

In a grave that never sleeps

Waiting to consume all the more

Take death’s path you foolish War

All you are is Babylon’s whore

Chew it up and spit it out

Masticate until you vomit

You started this now finish it

Kill your brother kill your bride

With those guns you have inside

March for country die for vain

Bloodlust makes the heart stupor

You’re men they say not animals

Savages you call the enemy

Even allies aren’t your friends

Tear the land with mega mine shells

Watch your troops be bombarded

Raise your guns and raise them high

Yes sir Captain here am I

Cat Called Dissociation

                        

                        Smoke erupted into the air. The tree was badly damaged, but the car and all of its inhabitants were totaled. It was such a waste of young life.

Ella was a dancer. She was graceful and polite, funny and a joy to encounter. She had just turned twenty- four in the spring. She was elegant and beautiful just like a cat.

Ella was always, (by those who knew her,) compared to a cat. For instance she was a woman of many lives. She loved to play and metaphorically purr. Most of all she was determined. She could be temperamental and moody, but she could love you beyond anything you could ever imagine.

Her childhood had been hectic, unfair, and full of abuse. Her father an alcoholic had given her frequent beatings, and her mother a victim of Sexual abuse herself would touch her in places one would rather keep secret. It was a detrimental situation that eventually tore her into several pieces. On her eighth birthday she ran away from home, and found herself on the streets. If it hadn’t been for her Christian Aunt Miriam, she probably would have died.

Miriam lived on a farm. She trained and boarded horses as a profession. But most of all she had a barn-full of cats. Red cats, black cats, white cats, alley cats, tomcats, and any other type of cat you could possibly imagine. Ella fit right in learning from nature as God had intended it. She was the happiest she’d ever been in her entire life.

Unfortunately Aunt Miriam developed cervix cancer, and was given two weeks to live. No one was more hurt then Ella, who had found a mother in her.

On her deathbed her aunt took her weakly to her side and said, “You are a prophetess Ella. Take my bible, in Love, and live its message.” It was then at eight years old that Ella gave her life to Jesus. She didn’t know much about Him, but He showed up to her in a dream.

She was beside a meadow, a peaceful meadow, but she was bleeding profusely. Then she saw him. He was a shepherd with a staff. He was beating back wolves that sensed her blood. She knew she was about to die.

However the Shepherd neared her. He appeared as a normal man, but in His eyes those precious eyes there was so much Love. He had in his arm a sewing needle and thread.

“This won’t hurt.” Methodically he began to sew her back together, and when she was sewn he picked her up carefully and carried her on his shoulders. “This one’s mine.” He declared. Ella never turned back.

            She was sent to an orphanage for boys and girls who had significant challenges in their lives. She was the youngest one there at only eight and a half years old. The Orphanage was privately administered and it was coined Bulla, Bulla house. She might as well have been sent to hell. If it hadn’t been for her Aunts bible, and most of all for Jesus she would have done herself in.

            She was beaten several times for no reason, placed in solitary confinement, and again sexually molested. But her dreams were filled with Eden like scenarios where Jesus would take her in His loving wings and bless her. Despite the harsh treatment she was never alone. Jesus was always with her, and they talked and read for hours. He promised her he’d send her friends and that her life would make a difference. Sometimes Jesus would weep, and she would tenderly ask him “What’s wrong?” He’d wipe the tears from his eyes and say, “All I want to do is Love them, yet they want no part in me.”

            When He wept Ella would start to weep, because she knew that there were times when she had been a bad girl and broken Jesus, dear sweet Jesus’s heart.

“I’m sorry Lord”, she’d always say, when she thought badly about people, or wanted them to hurt. He’d look at her with compassionate tears, and say, “Come to me little one. You’ll always be my child, and I Love you.” Then she’d spend hours in His arms, crying, laughing, praying, and playing. All the while in the middle of the night one of the teachers was molesting her. Ella didn’t even realize this, and it was a good thing, but she also didn’t live in the real world. She lived with Jesus.

            After a year there was a great disturbance at the orphanage. They brought in a new boy as wild as Barabbas. His name was Jeremiah, and he had to be physically constrained. They immediately locked him in isolation. He yelled and cussed and threatened everyone around him. Ella knew that he just needed a friend.

“Jesus the new boy, what’s wrong with him?” Jesus waited a moment, and spoke softly, “He doesn’t know me yet, but don’t you worry… He will.” Ella looked into a mirror, what she saw shocked her, there before her was a young woman, a teenager; she must have been fourteen.

            “Hi Ella, do you remember me? I can’t wait till your fifteenth birthday.”

            “Who are you?”

            “You’ve been dissociating for three days.”

            “Dissociating?”

            “You lose track of who you are, and you have the mental functioning of an eight and a half year old.”

            “Oh… I’m sorry.”

            “You say that every time. It’s not your fault.”

            “Elizabeth?”

“You got it!” The two hug.

“Is she back?” Queried Jeremiah.

“Jeremiah you’re out of isolation!”

“Yes, thanks to you.”

“What do you mean?”

A single tear came to Jeremiah’s eyes, he just wept, but why no one knew.

A few weeks later Ella awoke and there was Jesus. “I want you to talk to Jeremiah.”

“How my Lord? I’m scared of him.”

“I’ll give you the courage Ella.”

            So Ella obeyed and approached the isolation room. Jeremiah was howling profanities.

            “Um Sir, are you all right in there?”

            “What?” He screamed.

            “Are you all right?”

            “Who are you?”

            “I’m Ella.”

            “Are you bloody suicidal?”

            “No? What’s suicidal?”

            “Meaning do you want to die?” She thought about it for a moment, and then simply replied                                                                                 "No"

            “Then get the bloody Heck away from me.”

            “I would, gladly, but Jesus says you need a friend.”

            “Jesus? What’s wrong with you? Are you mocking me?”

            “I’ll leave now.”

            “Good.”

She may have kept her promise and left, but she returned again and again. She knew that is what her best friend Jesus would do.

At first her voice behind the door infuriated him. Later it began to soothe him. Ella never gave up on him, because she knew Jesus was with her.

“Happy fifteenth birthday Ella.” Chorused Elizabeth and Jeremiah.

“What?”

“And happy returns. You’ve been gone for three days.”

“Gone?”

“She never remembers Jeremiah, don’t get your hopes up.”

“You don’t remember us singing together, and reading the Bible together, and watching your favorite movie “A tale of two cities”?

            “No.”

            “Come on Ella, we danced. Don’t you remember dancing?”

            “I can dance?”

            “You can soar.”

            Then she was with Jesus again. Jesus was very angry.

“Why are you upset Lord?” Jesus took her in his arms and said, “You were pregnant Ella, but they aborted the baby.”

“Aborted the baby?”

“They killed him.” Ella began to bawl. “Why would they do such a thing?”

“To protect their own necks.” Ella jumped into His arms again and He just held her. One day she woke up and she was twenty-four. She didn’t know where she was or how she got there. Soon enough she realized she was in the hospital sitting beside a man she’d never seen before. He was breathing through a machine, he was on life support. To her surprise she too was wearing a hospital gown. A nurse was busy attending to patients. Ella called out. “Excuse me where am I?”

The nurse nearly fainted, but wrote down a note on her pad. “Ella.”

“Yes Madam.”

“You’ve returned. You were just singing to Jeremiah, you have a lovely voice.”

“Jeremiah?”

“He loved you so much Ella. He loved you enough to die for you, and he almost did too, but he’s in a state of peace now I suppose.”

“He died for me?”

“Yes he pushed you outside the car window before it front ended a tree. You sustained minor scrapes and bruises. He, well he’s sleeping. And Elizabeth, bless her heart has gone to be with the Lord.”

“He left you a video recording if you should ever return. You’ve been dissociating for nine years.”

“May I see the video?”

“Certainly, your return is nothing but a small miracle.” The nurse brought in a projector, and she played the tape.

“Hi Ella, Love you so much. We were married in September of this year, you are twenty-one, and we have a baby on the way. Her name is Cadence.” The film cut out, but then continued. “Ella we must have bought two dozen cats, you love them so much, and so does Cadence. Here you are playing with Poesy the skinny red haired one. You’re so cute. Every night we sing hymns together and I tuck you in. Tomorrow we’re going to a new church. Elizabeth is coming. Unfortunately Cadence is a bit sick, so she’ll have to stay at home with the baby-sitter.” The film cut out for good.

“What happened?” Asked Ella.

Smoke erupted into the air. The tree was badly damaged, but the car and all of its inhabitants were totaled. It was such a waste of young life. Elizabeth was dead and Jeremiah was a vegetable. “I remember.” Ella drew a breath. Cats have nine lives, but she would have traded them all for one more kiss. But now it was too late.

The Littlest Raindrop

Over the years there have been plenty of rainstorms. Many more then the world could say. There is a legend about one raindrop, who quenched the thirst of a dying King.

Listen to the tale I tell, keep it in your heart so well, so that you can learn to share to give to Love and dwell
on what is good and excellent, one day you'll be so swell.

Now raindrops dance atop the clouds like little Children play. They sing and shout now hold them clout and don't forget to pray. But the littlest raindrop was only a sparkling tear in rainstorms way. Nobody loved her, or even gave her the single time of day.

She was always down with a forlorn frown thinking in her head, what can I do but end up as dew upon some monster's head? She was so small she could barely crawl when the other raindrops ran.
And danced and sang with tambourines upon the land of man.

She kept to herself an empty shelf of things that could not be, If she could cry if she could cry if she could only see. That the Master God has a lovely plan for all of you and me. Never all alone Never goes unknown if walked in humility.

Now God was searching through the clouds for a single precious gem That he could use for the servant King into tapestry did hem. He searched far and wide earth and tide for the water that he'd use,
all the raindrops puckered up for the Lord they could not refuse.

Now the good Lord smiled in His lively style, but then he felt real sad. "I need a raindrop to show my son I love him all the while." The watched him cry all the earth and sky as their King hung on a cross.
All stood quiet at the agony, at the painstaking Holy cos.

Little raindrop came forth into tears she burst, Father please let me quench his thirst.
Just before He died she fell from the heights, onto the tongue of Jesus Christ.

Life after Life

                                                Life After Life

Writers notes:
Life after Life is intended to be a light look at multiple personality disorder, it's true Theme Love conquers everything, even disease is a favorite of mine. I love to write about love thwarting darkness, even in a sentimental, and romantic voice. Again to reiterate this play is rough and needs to be molded  into some kind of vessel. If you'd like to see it produced, that is ultimately the goal of any play. This is my latest play, written in 2011 in about a week, so further examination could expound upon the ideas I have already mentioned. Hope you enjoy. Jonius 


Grandpa: Now children the thing about love is it’s unconditional, undeserved, underrated, unconventional, and over all unexplainable. Not to mention it’s unexpected. You can’t force love. It comes it goes, it ebbs it flows, but all the while it’s still there, just like an ocean. Sometimes dear ones it hits you flat in the chest and you go flying back thirty miles, wishing that you had wore a bullet proof vest. Sometimes it’s so gentle, like a soft kiss on the neck that you can’t help but just pray for more. When you lose her, well; she’s never really lost. Because you know one day she’s gonna be bossing you around in the cosmos with God chuckling reminding you that she was indeed always right. Now children, never take your mothers for granted. (Pauses) My mother, bless her soul, was quite the dynamic character. To paraphrase Shakespeare, that’s what we are, characters on this grand stage we know as life. I remember… I remember being young. (Exits)

                                    Enter Cedric, begins tidying apartment

Cedric: (whistling as he works) Mother I love you dearly, but you sure don’t know how to clean. Ah! There’s my Mechanics Monthly I’ve been looking for that, for a month.

Hmm, she left me a note on the fridge;(sarcastically) I wonder what it says? “Get a girlfriend and move out you mooch.” Um mom you used that one three weeks ago. Two make sure you use up the milk. (Opens fridge) Wow this really is from three weeks ago. Three, pay electricity bill. Oh no wonder the lights are out. Ha sometimes I make myself chuckle. I paid that bill a month ago. They just need new bulbs. (Fixes the lights) There we go fix-ed.

                                    Shirley bangs on the door

Shirley: These blasted keys never work!

Cedric: The other way mum.

Shirley: Oh.

Cedric: So how was your day?

Shirley: Ooh I feel as giddy as a schoolgirl.

Cedric: Should I even ask?

Shirley: You must ask that’s half the fun.

Cedric: Why do you feel so “Giddy”?

Shirley: Let me take off my coat!

Cedric: Sorry.

Shirley: I found five.

Cedric: You found five?

Shirley: Five potential dates for my twenty five year old son.

Cedric: Really? What lies did you tell them this time?

Shirley: I said that you eat whale blubber.

Cedric: Appealing. So what pole are these girls from? North or south?

Shirley: They are all bipolar.

Cedric: Manic or depressed?

Shirley: Definitely manic. You my boy are not an easy sell.

Cedric: That’s because I don’t care mum. Maybe I’m a perma-bachelor.

Shirley: Look at the mess you’ve made! How am I supposed to find anything?

Cedric: Look at the labels.

Shirley: Your writing is too neat.

Cedric: Are you sure you are literate?

Shirley: (Feigning insult) Yeah.

Cedric: Rhetorical question.

Shirley: Rhetorical answer. So are you going to date or at least call one of these fabulous women I’ve so carefully scouted out for you?

Cedric: Probably not.

Shirley: What? Not even a chance?

Cedric: Nope.

Shirley: You don’t think I have good taste? (Passes him some pictures)

Cedric: That one has a moustache. That one looks fifty, and that one is a girl sticking her head in one of those woody body thingies.

Shirley: Drat, she was my best prospect.

Cedric: Mom you’re batting zero for seventy-five. Wait who is that?

Shirley: Who? What?

Cedric: Her?

Shirley: How did that get in there? (Rips it from him)

Cedric: Who is she?

Shirley: Nobody.

Cedric: Nobody?

Shirley: Precisely. Just a picture of no significance.

Cedric: Really? Well in that case I call a trap.

Shirley: You call a trap?

Cedric: Yeah you’re lying.

Shirley: Cedy dear, would I ever lie to you?

Cedric: Who is she?

Shirley: My boss’s daughter.

Cedric: Did you tell her that I eat whale blubber!

Shirley: Why that, that would be uncouth!

Cedric: (Laughs) Uncouth? When have you ever used a word like that?

Shirley: All the time… Well never really but I so very much so want this promotion, and he and his daughter are… Well they are coming over tonight for dinner.

Cedric: What?

Shirley: Would you be a doll and put the turkey in the oven. Thanks. I have to go get ready.

Cedric: But a turkey takes four hours to (Shirley slams the door) cook. Unbelievable. Mom when are they going to be here?

Shirley: Five a clock!

Cedric: Thank you for keeping me well informed!

Shirley: You’re welcome.

                        Ding Dong

Cedric: (Looks at his watch) Four fifty nine, yikes!

                        Ding Dong

Cedric: (Answers the door, an older gentleman Charles and his daughter Cherry enter)

Charles: Quaint little place. You sir, are you the butler?

Cherry: No father look at him he’s a greaser, other hired help for sure.

Cedric: Um… Come in.

Charles: Here is my coat Greaser.

Cherry: I won’t have him touching my coat.

Charles: We’ll wait for Shirley.

Cherry: Uck, this place is small and dingy.

Cedric: (To himself) Wow.

Charles: Are you going to offer us a drink Greaser?

Cedric: I’m a mechanic.

Cherry: Same difference. It smells like oil in here.

                        Enter Shirley dressed up

Shirley: Charles, Charles (Kisses him on the cheek twice) and you must be Cherry. I’ve heard so much about you good things I assure you, and I see you’ve met Cedric.

Cherry: The Greaser.

Cedric: Mechanic!

Shirley: Now, now no need to cause a raucous.

Cedric: Of course. (Biting his lip)

Cherry: Father I thought this was a place of high society.

Charles: I most certainly did as well.

Shirley: I…

Cedric: Now wait you here sir. This society is higher than you’ve ever seen.

Charles: I highly doubt that young man.

Cherry: Greaser.

Cedric: Now prepare for the feast of your lives. (To his mother through clenched teeth) when did you become British?

Shirley: About two seconds ago, he’s the new boss.

Cedric: Are you out of your head? Ehem, dinner will be served within the hour. I hope you enjoy your stay at this exquisite little suite. Pardon my appearance, but I am the butler and heavy-duty mechanic John Piere.

Cherry: I thought your name was Cedric.

Cedric: A oui oui, we Frenchmen go by many names, and perform many trades, it is as they say arooo ajoo aboobwa.

Cherry: What does that mean father?                                                                            

Charles: I wouldn’t recite it in polite company.

Cedric: (To himself) No way! Pardon me sir; I’m new at this. The Italian got fired for yelling too much.

Charles: Are you going to offer us a seat?

Cedric: Why of course. A seat for the lady first, non non?

Charles: You are about as French as I am a peacock.

Cedric: I didn’t realize how French I was until this very moment.

Charles: What you imposter?

Cedric: That is John Piere to you!

Charles: Pardon me young Greasy fellow. I will not let my intelligence be undermined.

Cedric: You have to have a mind to be undermined.

Charles: I resent that remark you crude, boastful, filthy little man.

Shirley: Please excuse him; he was an accident.

Charles: Very well. Shirley you look lovely.

Shirley: Thank you boss.

Charles: Please call me Charles. At R and J incorporated we are a family. One thing though, I strongly suggest you fire the help.

Shirley: Most certainly Charles, I would like nothing more then to boot his butt right out the front door.

Charles: Shall we sit? (Charles and Shirley take a seat)

Cedric: Shall I escort you to your seat my lady?

Cherry: I am not your lady you greasy haired spittoon.

Cedric: Dinner will be served momentarily.

Cherry: Good day, I say good day!

Cedric: Good day to you, you…

Cherry: Father when we return to the bungalow I think I need a new pair of runners. They are getting a bit out of fashion, and you know what high society will think of me then. (Sits down daintily)

Cedric: (To himself) How about a new pair of brains? Oh father I am a pansy prat with a silver spoon in my mouth that tastes like cotton candy lollipops. Oh how barbaric America is, I need a doily to wipe my prissy behind. Should I say as a Frenchmen la Derriere?

Shirley: The food shall be here momentarily. John Piere, go check on the chef.

Cedric: John Piere would be honored. (In her ear) You owe me big time.

(Enters kitchen seizes phone)

Kwan: Kwan’s Restaurant? No, No bay leaf here.

Cedric: I didn’t ask for bay leaves.

Kwan: You crazy, you crazy. What you want?

Cedric: I need a turkey dinner.

Kwan: You want chicken fried rice?

Cedric: No, no chicken fried rice!

Kwan: Five nine nine.

Cedric: I don’t want chicken fried rice!

Kwan: You want my daughter’s hand in marriage? Ten nine nine.

Cedric: No I just want a turkey…

Kwan: Turkey soup? Three nine nine.

Cedric: Forget it (Hangs up, phone rings) Hello?

Kwan: Me just got call display. Turkey be ready in twenty. Two hundred and nine nine.

Cedric: Okay, bye. (Phone rings again) What!

Kwan: You crazy, you crazy.

Cedric: No you crazy (Laughs) See you in a bit Kwan.

Kwan: Your mother need to stop throwing dinner party.

Cedric: Ha. (The phone rings) What now?

Kwan: You want me deliver through the window?

Cedric: Yeah you might need your crane.

Kwan: How do you know about my day job? You stalker?

Cedric: Kwan this is the fifth time I’ve called you this week. I keep you in business.

Kwan: Ten nine nine for crane service.

Cedric: You Cheapo.

Kwan: Still offering daughters hand in marriage, eight nine nioe.

Cedric: Goodbye see you in twenty.

                        Enters living room

Cedric: The chef says twenty minutes.

Shirley: Why don’t you go sit in a corner and doodle like you normally do?

Cedric: Oh she is so buying me a new car for this.

Shirley: Yes in Manchester I owned an estate with forty horses; they were thorough bread racers that make good money. Or should I say made good money. Some thief robbed them all in a…

Cedric: Giant truck, kidnapped me for ransom and forced me to come to America. But usually my accent is German and I talk about Berlin… Wow mother you’ve never stooped this low.

Charles: You’ve led a fascinating life Miss,

Shirley: Tapinski.

Charles: Yes.

Cherry: Father this is getting rather Boorish.

Charles: I know the Greaser is rude. Here, keep yourself occupied with this. (Tosses her a lighter)

Kwan: You food here!

Cedric: (Runs into kitchen) Keep quiet Kwan.

Kwan: You demanding. I give daughter to other man for bargain five and nine nine.

Cedric: Just get the food in here and leave.

Kwan: Two nine nine.

Cedric: I thought it was two hundred dollars and ninety-nine cents.  

Kwan: I give you deal three nine nine.

Cedric: Okay two ninety-nine it is. Now get out.

Kwan: Thank you for choosing Kwan’s restaurant, Goodbye.

Cedric: Good grief… Dinner is prepared.

Cherry: I hope it is vegetarian.

Cedric: No actually it’s turkeytarian.

Cherry: Please omit the turkey

Charles: I quite agree turkey is bad for the bowels.

Shirley: Okay Cedric send word to the chef.

Cedric: (Nearly growling) It would be an honor.

                                                Pacing the Kitchen

Cedric: Okay, okay, okay. Deep breathe. Omit the turkey (False-sotto) Omit the turkey. Let’s all just have a bunch of stuffing! Oh but that’s bad for the bowels. I might as well caramelize a bunch of sugar mix it in a bowl and call it a Turkish delicacy. Minus the Turkish! What is she doing? Is that my mechanics monthly?

Cherry: What a dreadful selection of reading material.

                        Bolts out of kitchen

Cedric: No! (Seizes lighter, and magazine out of her hands, the two end up sprawled over each other on the floor) Pardon.

Cherry: (Wrapped around him) Get off of me! I have never been so affronted in my entire life!

Charles: How dare you assault my daughter?

Cedric: I didn’t assault your daughter!

Shirley: I think someone deserves a beating.

Cedric: Something tripped me!

Charles: Oh right…

Cherry: You believe him?

Charles: Yes… I may have accidently tripped him.

Cherry: Father!

Charles: To be frank I don’t like the man.

Cherry: Your name isn’t Frank it’s Charles.

Shirley: Everybody makes mistakes, including myself.

Charles: Indeed. Let’s calm down and have a lovely dinner. What’s on the menu you reprobate?

Cherry: I hope it’s delightful. I’m starving.

Charles: Boy what is on the menu?

Cedric: Caramelized Turkey. (Big smile) But I might need to borrow your lighter.

                        Blackout end of scene

                                    Scene 2

             The next day in the apartment

Shirley: Blasted keys never work!

Cedric: The other way mum!

Shirley: Guess what?

Cedric: What?

Shirley: I got promoted!

Cedric: Congratulations!

                             Shirley gives Cedric a large hug

Cedric: It must have been the dinner party.

Shirley: By the way John Piere you are fired.

Cedric: My pleasure.

Shirley: I’ve got five.

Cedric: Mom are you sure you want to go zero for eighty?

Shirley: This one is nice.

Cedric: She can’t spell.

Shirley: How would you know?

Cedric: That’s her name Kant Spel.

Shirley: What’s in a name anyways?

Cedric: I’d rather date a girl named nobody.

Shirley: Is she your type?

Cedric: Totally.

Shirley: Drat, I don’t have her picture.

Cedric: Speaking of which you owe me a car and three hundred dollars.

Shirley: Put it on my tab. By the way give my regards to Kwan.

Cedric: I don’t know how he does it but he always pulls it off. By the way why British?

Shirley: I thought it would be cute to switch things up for a change.

Cedric: You do realize this is the first promotion you’ve had in three years twenty careers and disastrous dinner parties. But last night, that was unreal. I’m really proud of you mum. You pulled it off.

Shirley: I must say you didn’t help much.

Cedric: Thanks.

                                    Ding Dong

Cedric and Shirley: I wonder who that could be?

Cedric: I’ll get it.

Shirley: No Cedric I insist

Cedric: It’s my honor mum.

Shirley: No really.

                                 Ding Dong

Cedric: One of us has to get it. Rock paper scissors. Mum there is no dynamite!

                                  Ding Dong

        Shirley and Cedric race to the door, Cedric wins.

Cedric: He… (Cherry glares at him) llo

Shirley: (Oblivious) Oh hi Cherry.

Cedric: (Forces a smile) To what do we owe this fine occasion?

Cherry: Stop it with that French nonsense.

Cedric: Nonsense? You dare insult me in my own workplace?

Cherry: You couldn’t speak French to quell a bursting elephant’s bladder.

Cedric: Sick or humorous I’m really not sure.

Cherry: Stop with the smart mouthing.

Cedric: My question is: Why are you here?

Cherry: That is an age old question passed down from human being to human being some answer it through science, religion and some refuse to answer it at all.

Cedric: All right Miss philosophical, now that you have been cheeky why are you here?

Shirley: Do come in dear.

Cherry: I misplaced my father’s lighter.

Shirley: My, my child.

Cherry: Miss Tapinski I am not a child. I am twenty-three years of age, and I’m not stupid. You’re about as British as your phony horses horse manure. That posh may have worked on my father, but he’ll do anything, or believe anything for a pretty face.

Shirley: You think I have a pretty face? Thank you.

Cedric: Mum, she just insulted you.

Shirley: So what go bathe in a tub of salt, then you’ll be insulted.

Cedric: Yeah well saltutations to you.

Shirley: Go to your room butler.

Cedric: (Bows) Certainly miss Tapinski.

Shirley: (Giggles) On second thought find this girl her lighter.

Cherry: Do so promptly I’m late for a jaunt at the salon.

Cedric: (Mocking) I’m late for a jaunt…

Shirley: Do stop mumbling to yourself.

Cherry: Once a greaser, always a greaser.

Cedric: Once a bossy hag, always a bossy hag.

Cherry: What did you just say?

Cedric: I’d better get a rag to get the tag out of my hair.

Shirley: What gang are you in? You should have listed that on your resume.

Cedric: The old ladies do gooders gang. We ride tricycles and hold up liquor stores with bibles. Prohibition you see.

Cherry: They ought to behead you.

Cedric: Really? Well why don’t you go marry king Henry the eighth?

Cherry: Well at least he’s more of a charmer than you are. Now find my fathers lighter.

Shirley: Oh crap…

Cedric: What? You never say crap unless there is crap going down.

Shirley: I’m supposed to be at a meeting in fifteen minutes.

Cedric: That is it; I quit.

Shirley: But I fired you.

Cedric: Your car is in the shop.

Shirley: I need a car, I need a dress, and I need makeup.

Cedric: You can borrow my car.

Shirley: You’re hired.

Cherry: Let me help you with the fashion selection.

Shirley: Most certainly, this way. (Cedric is alone)

Cedric: What a prissy, pansy, popular, poise, prittish, pretty, proper, polished, perfect pretender. Dear Lucy I think I’m in love. One for seventy-nine mum, not bad.

Cherry: You’ve got makeup?

Shirley: Check.

Cherry: The dress is gorgeous.

Shirley: Check.

Cherry: You’re earrings match?

Shirley: Check.

Cherry: Your shoes fit?

Shirley: Yep.

Cherry: You are supposed to say…

Cedric: Check.

Cherry: Why you rude… Why are you looking at me like that?

Cedric: Haven’t you ever played chess? Check it’s your move.

Cherry: Your hair is just superb Shirley. Do you have the keys to the car?

Shirley: John Piere?

Cedric: (Throws her the keys) Checkmate.

Shirley: I’m ready. Okay wish me luck.

Cedric: Bye, don’t be out too late.

Shirley: I won’t, now take care. (Runs out the door, slams it.)

Cherry: My fathers lighter please. Make it now!

Cedric: I’m sick of this game, you are my mother.

Cherry: What?

Cedric: I mean she is my mother, Shirley.

Cherry: You liar!

Cedric: Yes and I’m sure you’ve told the truth your entire life.

Cherry: You’re a phony and a fake.

Cedric: So are you.

Cherry: Pardon me?

Cedric: You are about as noble as a horses tooter.

Cherry: Excuse me?

Cedric: I saw the way you looked at me when you walked in. You find me attractive.

Cherry: I find you repulsive.

Cedric: So repulsive that I am in fact attractive.

Cherry: You are rather vain.

Cedric: You like me, admit it.

Cherry: I don’t even know you peasant.

Cedric: I call a trap.

Cherry: A what?

Cedric: You’re caught in a lie.

Cherry: I…

Cedric: You?

Cherry: I’m no boss’s daughter; I’m just a pretty grocery store clerk, who has multiple personality disorder. Sometimes I have rapid personality disorder.

Cedric: Multiple personality disorder?

Cherry: How dare you accuse me of treachery to my face?

Cedric: Who are you?

Cherry I am Anne Boleyn, second wife of king Henry the eighth.

Cedric: And I’m Charlton Hesston.

Cherry: Really: Nice to meet you Mr. Hesston.

Cedric: Oh wow.

Cherry: I must have my father’s lighter.

Cedric: You never lost it in the first place! I see it in your pocket.

Cherry: Can we see each other again?

Cedric: Really?

Cherry: It’ll be on official business straight from the queen.

Cedric: Yes the queen shall be proud, except one thing we are in the United States of America.

Cherry: I’m from Canada.

Cedric: That’s great A.

Cherry: (Giggles) That joke is so overused.

Cedric: You’re cute.

Cherry: How dare you insinuate…

Cedric: And you’re kinda creepy.

Cherry: Chop, Chop peasant fetch me the bell or I’ll chop off your head.

Cedric: What?

Cherry: I mean the lighter.

Cedric: You have it!

Cherry: Oh… Can we see each other again?

Cedric: Absolutely. But how about next time we bring one of you?

Cherry: Okay I’ll see you.

Cedric: Hey Cherry?

Cherry: Yes?

Cedric: You are amazingly cute.

Cherry: You too. (Closes door)

Cedric: You’re batting ten for seventy-nine; that’s not bad mom not bad.

                                    Scene 3

                               A month later

Shirley: You’re dating my boss’s daughter?

Cedric: Yeah kind of. It’s been a bizarre month.

Shirley: This is preposterous.

Cedric: Mum, I barely know her. She’s an enigma to me.

Shirley: She’s my boss’s daughter you nut cake.

Cedric: Why the sudden hissy fit?

Shirley: It’s just things you know, things between a man and a woman.

Cedric: Don’t tell me.

Shirley: I’m engaged.

Cedric:  No way…

Shirley: I know it’s rather sudden, but you need a father.

Cedric: I have a father.

Shirley: A father that is not him.

Cedric: Okay…

Shirley: Look Cedy everything is going to be fine.

Cedric: Right and you expect me to believe you just like I always do.

Shirley: You should have seen how her proposed it was dashing.

Cedric: You need to cut the British crap. You’re from New York.

Shirley: Yes but isn’t it fun darling?

Cedric: No it is not fun. It is not fun that my mother is getting married on a whim.

Shirley: Let me show you how he proposed to me. You take the ring and be Charles.

Cedric: Absolutely not.

Shirley: Come on.

Cedric: I refuse to be part of this game.

Shirley (Chases him around the room) Come on darling you must know.

Cedric: I don’t wanna, I don’t wanna.

Shirley stop being such a pussy willow child.

                                                Ding Dong

Cedric and Shirley: I’ll get that. You’ll get that? No I’ll get that (Race to the door). Hello.

Cherry: I would like to be the first to congratulate you Miss Tapinski.

Cedric: You look like you just got beat with a baseball bat.

Cherry: What do you know Joe DiMaggio?

Shirley: Come in daughter.

Cherry: I need a hit man please.

Cedric: Did you go off your meds?

Cherry: Yeah man I’m a gangsta chick.

Cedric: Mom you have a meeting right now with Charles, over flower arrangements.

Shirley: Really? How do you know?

Cedric: Voice mail; take a listen.

Shirley: Okay.

Charles: Hi Shirley, this is your love sensation Charles. We need to pick out flowers for the engagement party in half an hour. Okay darling see you soon.

Shirley: Right! Well I’m out of here, how do I look?

Cherry: Splendid Mrs. Tapinski

Shirley: (Exits)

Cedric: So who are you now?

Cherry: What do you mean peasant?

Cedric: Ah the middle ages rocker. What a great band name. You might need a lyre.

Cherry: You are the liar!

Cedric: Wow you are incredible.

Cherry: I’ve got an easy feeling coming over me. We should all be brethren standing for peace and harmony.

Cedric: You rock it girl.

Cherry:  Girl? I’m miffed at you for implying that I’m such a low stature in our bureaucratic society.

Cedric: I’ve never had so much fun in my life.

Cherry: (Giggles) Neither have I.

Cedric: I think your crazy awesome.

Cherry: Crazy? No I’m fine doctor. I don’t need to take that injection. Please I’m just a little one. I’ll be seven tomorrow. Leave me alone!

Cedric: Cherry Cherry. It’s all right, I’m here.

Cherry: (Jumps into his arms and hugs him) Will you protect me from the big bad lion?

Cedric: I’d protect you from the big bad guinea pig.

Cherry: I think I love you.

Cedric: Cherry love is a strong word.

Charity: And if it were a stronger word I’d use it.

Cedric: I’m pretty crazy about you too girl.

Cherry: Crazy! I’m not crazy! (Tears herself from his arms)

Cedric: (To himself)  This whole whatever it is is crazy.                   

Cherry: And he passes the puck to center ice, in a daring move, he shoots he scores! The crowd goes wild. (Cherry begins to dance and go wild)

Cedric: All right Don Cherry. This is the most bizarre experience in my life.

Cherry: Are you a gentleman John Piere?

Cedric: I’m Lord John Piere from the little town of Parie (Paris)

Cherry: Shall we dance John Piere?

Cedric: What music shall we dance to?

Cherry: The sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel.

Cedric: Okay it is silent in here.

Cherry: Hold me close, hold me gentle, hold me true, hold me forever.

                                    The two dance

Cherry (Suddenly faints)

Cedric: Cherry are you all right?

Cherry: Who’s Cherry?

Cedric: You and I were just dancing.

Cherry: No I was minding my till at the grocery store.

Cedric: No we were dancing.

Cherry: No! I was selling groceries!

Cedric: I… I don’t understand.

Cherry: I have to leave momma; the needle hurts too much.

Cedric: What?

Cherry: Why are you staring at me like that you Greaser? My father will have your neck.

(Cherry collapses again)

Cedric: (Attempts to phone 911) Hello I’ve got an urgent situation here.

Kwan:  Kwan’s restaurant no, no Bay leaf here, no oregano either, you crazy, you crazy.

Cedric: (Shaking) Kwan I need your help.

Kwan: Oh Cedric: Kwan is on way.

Cedric: Come on Cherry, wake up, wake up!

Cherry: (Rolls over) Momma I love John Piere. You probably wouldn’t approve though. He’s a terrible Frenchman who can’t even speak French. He kind of sounds like a toad when he tries to speak French.

                        Enter Kwan

Kwan: What seems to be problem?

Cedric: Um, this girl is tripping out.

Kwan: Kwan was head doctor in native land.

Cedric: I know that’s why I called you.

Kwan: She is experiencing severe Psychosis.

Cedric: She has multiple personality disorder, and she doesn’t seem to remember me.

Kwan: Possible dissociation. Kwan can only guess. It’s usually caused by trauma in formative years.

Cedric: Trauma in formative years? Got you. But what can I do now?

Kwan: Kwan try age- old technique song. (Kwan sings) Kwan like to party, Kwan like to sing, Kwan see’s you lady, goofing like a king.

Cherry: (Coming to) what are you doing you ridiculous little man?

Kwan: Works every time. Five nine nine.

Cedric: Five nine nine!

Kwan: I’ll give you deal. Ten nine nine.

Cedric: (Reaches into his pocket) You’re lucky I make so much money you cheap donkey.

Kwan: See you. (Takes off)

Cherry: Greaser why have you invaded my flat?

Cedric: Look around please.

Cherry: Why this isn’t my flat at all, it’s your dingy hole.

Cedric: Yes it’s my dingy hole.

Cherry: Oh you are so cute!

Cedric: Okay who are you and what is your name?

Cherry: I’m Katrina from fort Pardy. Get it fort party?

Cedric: I’ve never heard of such a place Cherry.

Cherry: Katrina. Ou must be the cutest mechanic I’ve ever met.

Cedric: I must be on something. Yep that explains it, mom put something in the coffee, sugar.

Cherry: You know there is a proper way a man should treat a lady.

Cedric: Wow southern States. What’s your name?

Cherry: Isabella from Tennessee.

Cedric: I’m swearing off sugar.

Cherry: I love you… Help me.

Cedric: What’s wrong?

Cherry: He took all my money my grandmother left me. He isn’t my father Cedric. My father died…

Cedric: (Takes her hand) Cherry who is Charles?

Cherry: Shh don’t tell anyone.

Cedric: I won’t I promise.

Cherry: He’s a doctor; well he was a doctor when I was hospitalized for three years. (Giggles) We’re con artists you see.

Cedric: Con artists?

Cherry: What are you claiming?

Cedric: Cherry I need you to focus.

Cherry: He killed momma.

Cedric: WHAT!

Cherry: He didn’t actually kill her, he just broke her heart, took her money, and she died of grief. That’s why I work at the grocery store.

Cedric: You were hospitalized for three years?

Cherry: I was deemed unsuitable for normal society.

Cedric: Dear me. (He hugs her)

Cherry: Get your hands off me you filthy greaser.

Cedric: Mechanic. Oh never mind.

Cherry: I think I love you.

Cedric: To quote Kwan, you crazy, you crazy.

Cherry: I demand respect peasant.

Cedric: Who are you?

Cherry: I am Queen Andromeda.

Cedric: What planet are you from?

Cherry: Sector six of the abdominal effect. I have feelings for you earthling, feelings that can only be satisfied through echolocation.

Cherry: Okay Andromeda, so you love me?

Cherry: There was this cute boy at the grocery store, who looked exactly like you. He looked like all of you.

Cedric: And you love me?

Cherry: You really need to be taught some social mannerisms greaser.

Cedric: And you love me?

Cherry: When a gentleman kisses a lady it should be proper and respectful.

Cedric: How should I go about doing this? I’ve never kissed a lady.

Cherry: One should approach it from the tactical point of view. The locking of lips is a rather strategic endeavor.

Cedric: Come here… (The two begin a kiss) Some things are better left uncivilized.

Cherry: I must admit you are quite the kisser. I shall refrain from calling you greaser John Piere. We must court.

Cedric: Anybody else in there I haven’t met?

Cherry: Too many to mention.

Cedric: Cherry I love you.

Cherry: Really? But what about my disorder?

Cedric: It only makes me love you all the more.

Cherry: No man could ever love me.

Cedric: I do. I love all of you.

                        Blackout end of scene

                        Scene 4

Cedric: Mum I’m serious the guy’s a con artist.

Shirley: Thank you for telling me that for the umpteenth time.

Cedric: Why aren’t you taking me seriously?

Shirley: You cannot con love.

Cedric: You certainly can! He’s going to take you for all you’re worth.

Shirley: Who told you this?

Cedric: A reliable source.

Shirley: Let me guess Cherry.

Cedric: Mom the man is a genius criminal.

Shirley:  She’s sick in the head Cedric, unstable at the best of times.

Cedric: She’s telling the truth.

Shirley: Maybe it’s the truth in her world, but it isn’t true in ours. Charles and I are to be married in three weeks and I expect you to stop seeing his daughter, and I expect you to treat Charles with respect.

Cedric: The man is a thief!

Shirley: I’ll hear no more about it.

Cedric: You’ve got to believe me.

Shirley: No.

Cedric: I’m gonna keep on seeing her.

Shirley: No.

Cedric: That isn’t going to stop me.

Shirley: No.

Cedric: What are you all no-ing?

Shirley: There are plenty of girls I have found for you, and you choose the bosses my fiancés crazy daughter. I forbid it.

Cedric: Forbid all you want mother I love her!

Shirley: This is not a matter of discussion!

Cedric: Love is stronger then her disease. Love is stronger then any other force in the universe. Love is her and I.

Shirley: You are so naïve.

Cedric: No mother you are naïve. You plan to marry a con artist, you disregard my feelings, and you think you know everything about love. Well you don’t mother. You know what you know squat!

Shirley: (Glares at him, slams the door)

Cedric: Go on mother, keep living in your dream world, your man is a crook (No response) Fine! (Picks up telephone and dials Cherry) I need to see you. No I’m not the Mafia it’s Cedric. Oh you’re already on your way over here, okay. Bye.

(Screams in a fit of rage) (Enter Cherry)

Cherry: Vent much?

Cedric: Oh Cherry (Runs into her arms and trips)

Cherry: That could have been the best scene from a bad movie.

Cedric: (Arises) You’re beautiful today.

Cherry: Who you calling beautiful bub?

Cedric: Who are you?

Cherry: I’m from the hood; I’m a gangsta.

Cedric: Right…

Cherry: I’ll show you my rhyme, well keeping my time. Cause I’m a gangsta I’m a gangsta chick. I’m a gangsta I’m a gangsta chick.

Cedric: Every day I love you more and more.

Cherry: My love for you is finer than a thousand suns, more beauteous than a golden piano, more content then a dodo bird excreting cinnamon, more lovely than a cat scratching a chalkboard. More…

Cedric: I get it.

Cherry: (Takes his hand) Will you hold me till the day I die?

Cedric: Longer.

Cherry: (Starts to sing) Who is this boy that I see? He looks at me romantically. No other boy in all my life has ever considered loving me for me. What can I do? How can I ever feel the same way again? What if I run away from him, though he loves me more than each and every possibility? I know I’m sick. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a normal girl with a normal man. Why can’t I see all the time that these things are really a part of me? I am so many, and he is so few. How can he love me when there is nothing I can do, to change who I am, who I am in you?

Cedric: Don’t change anything. I love you for who you were, I love you for who you are and I love you for who you will be.

Cherry: I… (Faints)

Cedric: Cherry, Cherry, Cherry.

Cherry: Cedric…

Cedric: Cherry!

Cherry: Cedric I think I’m dying. I’m so dizzy, Cedric…

                                    Blackout, In the Hospital

Shirley: The doctor says she has a chemical in her brain that induces the loss of consciousness.

Cedric: Then they should fix it! Where is Charles anyhow?

Shirley: He has a company to run.

Cedric: This girl is sick!

Shirley: Lower your voice.

Cedric: You may not care about Cherry, but I do!

Shirley: You are really getting brass boy!

Cedric: You aren’t listening to me! Charles is a con artist.

Shirley: I’ll hear nothing of it. You are so fixated on a lie.

Cedric: You are so fixated on a lie and you don’t know it.

(Exit Shirley; Enter Cherry)

Cherry: Cedric why am I here? (He runs to support her)

Cedric: You are a little sick right now, but the doctors are helping you out.

Cherry: (Smiles) What did I eat? Oysters? I’m allergic to the little buggers.

Cedric: Cherry you’re going to be fine.

Cherry: You really know how to treat a lady.

Cedric: You are indeed a lady. You need some rest.

Cherry: I’ve been asleep for three days.

Cedric: You look so tired.

Cherry: Where’s my mother?

Cedric: She lives within Cherry.

Cherry: Welcome to hockey night. I think we have a problem Huston.

Cedric: You are truly ten of a kind.

Cherry: How many roads must a woman walk down, before you can call her a woman? Two. One who kicks the stones onto the road, and the other one who kicks them off.

Cedric: Remarkable.

Cherry: Greaser as strange as this sounds I think I’m not appalled by you.

Cedric: Coming from you that is a real compliment.

Cherry: In fact I’d like to kiss you.

Cedric: Cherry you are in no condition…

Cherry: I’m a grown woman who… (Faints)

Cedric: Cherry! Cherry!

                           Blackout

Cherry: Cedric where am I.

Cedric: (Takes her hand) You are in the hospital; you’ve been out for three hours.

Cherry: Valecous dous desme?

Cedric: Pardon?

Cherry: (Smiles) I’m speaking in tongues.

Cedric: You were raised a Christian?

Cherry: Yes and I was kidnapped… Oh I wasn’t supposed to reveal that.

Cedric: Child hood trauma that is it. That is why you are like this.

Cherry: Like what Greaser? Are you implying that I’m…

Cedric: Yes you are sick, but now I understand why.

Cherry: Please Cedric (Holding him close) Don’t tell on me. Don’t tell the big bully. I miss my mother.

Cedric: (Holds her tight) That jerk wad is going to get a piece of my mind.

Cherry: Has anybody ever told you how incredibly cute you are?

Cedric: Plenty.

Cherry: Has anybody ever told you how incredibly arrogant you are?

Cedric: Even more darling

Cherry: You aren’t leaving me are you?

Cedric: No.

Cherry: About that kiss Greaser.

Cedric: Ah oui we Frenchmen have perfected the kiss, after generations of trial and error, John Piere has become a kissing wonder man.

Cherry: Show me this John Piere.

Cedric: First you lean in real close, like so. Than you say I love you.

Cherry: Do you love me?

Cedric: What kind of question is that my lady?

Cherry: Do you/

Cedric: More than a cat loves a mouse, more than a bird loves a fish, more than a…

Cherry: Shut up and kiss me (She leans in and kisses him)

Cedric: Mmm.

Cherry: You taste like…

Cedric: Cherries? I wanted to go for irony so I chewed some cherry gum.

Cherry: You are so sweet.

Cedric: You taste like chocolate.

Cherry: Really? I had lobster for supper.

Cedric: I thought it was a strange after taste.

Cherry: Don’t let him take me daddy.

Cedric: Oh no.

Cherry: I’ll defend you Cherry! Lord help me. He’s got a gun! Molly stay back he’s got a gun! Leave my daughter alone! No! He shot me (Cherry is reenacting this, she falls to the ground) I’ll always love you Cherry.

Cedric (Helps her to her feet) Who did this to you?

Cherry: Don’t tell my father greaser.

Cedric: Charles?

Cherry: For all intensive purposes yes.

Cedric: He’s engaged to my mother.

Cherry: (Whispers) I love you.

Cedric: Why did he do this?

Cherry: Cause I love you.

Cedric: Why did he commit these crimes?

Cherry: My mother was rich and beautiful. They named me Cherry because of my vibrant red hair. Poppa always worked hard and instilled in me good Christian values. I was only fourteen. Don’t tell Charles I told you this.

Cedric: I won’t tell him. I’ll kick his…

Cherry: Please don’t finish that sentence.

Cedric: Buttocks.

Cherry: (Kissing his neck) I love you so much Cedric.

Cedric: I… I love you too.

 Cherry: Just hold me.

                                    And he did

                        Blackout End of Scene

                                  Scene 5 at the apartment

Shirley: Charles you are simply a darling, a man of fine taste and strong learning.

Charles: How you flatter me with your kind words. It isn’t easy being rich and handsome.

Shirley: Nor is it easy being British and beautiful.

Charles: You have quite the unique accent I must say.

Shirley: Aye aye as we say in Manchester.

Charles: You’re so full of noodles I can’t stand it anymore, you are more then a lovely face. Let’s get married tonight.

Shirley: We must both be drunk. Yes Shirley… Wait yes Charles. Let’s get married tonight.

                                    Cedric bursts in

Cedric: I object!

Charles: Who in the blazes is he?

Shirley: You remember that stupid French butler I fired?

Charles: Oh yes be gone you greasy flutter bird.

                        Cedric is irate; he grabs Charles by the scruff of the neck

Cedric: You pretentious, murdering, selfish, over stuffed Jerk wad!

Charles: What…

Cedric: Get up!

Shirley: (Attempting to intervene) Cedric!

Charles:  (Punches Shirley) I’ll deal with him.

Shirley: (Is knocked unconscious)

Cedric: You obscene Bastard! How dare you touch my mother!

Charles: So the gig is up A? You know my secret, and there is nothing you can do about it.

Cedric: You killed my girlfriend’s father (Attempts to punch him, the two wrestle to the ground)

Charles: Money, money, money. There is nothing quite like it. That crackpot of a daughter of mine has made me plenty of it over the years.

Cedric: She is not a crackpot I love her!

Charles: No one could ever fully love a ticket like her. She’s a loony a goose a duckling.

Cedric: She’s my best friend!

Charles: (Punches him in the face) So long sucker! (Flees the apartment)

Cedric: You’re a dead man Charles do you hear me! A dead man! Mom, mom are you all right?

Shirley: Peaches and Tomatoes.

                                    Blackout

                                    The hospital

                                    Enter Cherry

Cherry: Is your old lady all right? This is my fault, all my fault.

Cedric: It is not your fault! I’m pressing charges he knocked her into a coma.

Cherry: I should have stopped him; he’s hit me so many times. But I rarely remember the pain I’m usually…

Cedric: You’re usually someone else

Cherry: Yes.

Cedric: But at the core of yourself you are you. The wonderful, talented, amazing girl that you are.

Cherry: (Tearing up) Nobody has ever said that to me.

Cedric: I mean it, with all of myself. Love is more than an emotion it’s a state of being.

Cherry: (Jumps into his arms)

Shirley: (Stirs)

Cedric: Mom?

Shirley: These blasted keys never work.

Cedric: The other way mom. (The two rush to hug her)

Shirley: What is the occasion?

Cedric: I love you mom.

Shirley: You’ve gone loopy Cedy; of course you love me.

Cedric: (Takes her hand) I’m never going to let anyone ever hurt you again.

Shirley: I’m batting ten for eighty son, for me that’s pretty good. (Conks out)

Cherry: I think she just gave you her blessing.

Cedric: I think she did.

Cherry: Yo man, what up? I love you man.

Cedric: And I adore you. All of you.

Cherry: Are you sure you can love a freak greaser?

Cedric: Totally. I’m much more of a freak than you’ll ever be.

Cherry: You’re positive?

Cedric: Marry me Cherry.

Cherry: You’re proposing to me in a hospital? Are you certain greaser?

Cedric: Marry me please.

Cherry: (In mirth) Absolutilly dootily Avec Quebecious.

Cedric: You’re speaking in tongues again.

Cherry: I love you greaser.

Cedric: I love you too, whoever you are.

Shirley: She’s your girl you ding dong ding along.

Cedric: Mom you’re awake!

Shirley: What I ever saw in Charles I’ll never know.

Cherry: It’ll all work out.

Shirley: I knew you tots were the perfect match; now get out of my house you twenty-five year old mooch.

Cedric: Gladly mom.

Shirley: Do be sure to visit.

Cherry: Should we tell her that she’s in the hospital?

Cedric: Nah, it’ll just bum her out.

                                    Blackout The Apartment

Cedric: Charles has been gone for three days Cherry. My mom is still in and out of perception, and I still owe you a diamond ring.

Cherry: What’s up bro! Give me the high five, the low five, the slow five, the all spice five… Greaser.

Cedric: You are quite incredible.

Cherry: (Stuttering) Thank… thank… you.

Cedric: There is a time for romance, and there is a time for bringing murderers to accountability.

Cherry: I have a plan.

Cedric: Do tell.

Cherry: Two plus two is four.

Cedric: (Incredulously) Two plus two is four?

Cherry: Yes it solves every equation in the known universe.

Cedric: Okay… Now for a real plan.

Cherry: I’m serious! If two plus two were any other number, say five for instance it would challenge the very essence of our existence.

Cedric: Yes, but how is that relevant to catching a criminal?

Cherry: Everything equals something. Bad deeds equal bad deeds returned.

Cedric: The cops are doing squat! We need to act!

Cherry: All right guvnor, where do we start Captain bird?

Cedric: Captain bird? You are so absurd.

Cherry: You just pulled a Rhymey.

Cedric: A Ryhmey? Okay, let’s focus

Cherry: Pocus focus.

Cedric: How do you catch a con artist murderer when nobody believes you?

Cherry: Call the cops.

Cedric: I tried that two days ago, they hung up laughing.

Cherry: Maybe it was your accent.

Cedric: I don’t have an accent! Sorry I must have lost my mind.

Cherry: Don’t worry I’ve lost my mind many times.

Cedric: We’ll track him down and beat him with sticks.

Cherry: Karma. What goes around comes around.

Cedric: Meanwhile a lying murderer is roaming the streets.

                                    Phone rings

Cedric: Maybe it’s the cops!

Cherry: Cops, coppers, coppies.

                                    Phone rings

Cherry: Put the mobile on speaker greaser.

Cedric: Hello?

Kwan: Kwan’s Restaurant? No, no Sady here, you crazy, you crazy.

Cedric: Kwan! What do you want?

Kwan: I’ll be at apartment Quanto.

Cedric: What?

                                    Kwan hangs up

Cherry: Who is Kwan?

Cedric: He’s the strangest friend I’ve ever had.

Cherry: Is he cute?

Cedric: Huh?

Cherry: I thought that would get your gourd.

Cedric: No. It makes me love you all the more.

Cherry: Love has fifty senses bub.

Cedric: Yes… I mean this is serious!

Cherry: I know we’re serious.

Cedric: Yes we are! But we’ve got a maniac homicidal killer to catch.

Cherry: You worry too much. I know father, he’s probably out there wining and dining some dame.

Cedric: Great.

Cherry: He’s a louse and a loser.

Cedric: He needs to be put behind bars for life.

Cherry: Cedric come here.

Cedric: Your timing is highly inappropriate.

Cherry: Come here, you need to relax.

Cedric: Relax! Are you joshing me?

Cherry: (Gives him a massage) You Frenchmen are so tense. Release your energy into something positive something psychedelic .You are in a different realm, you are experiencing the expanding of your mind.

Cedric: You are the most wonderful twat I have ever had the privilege to meet.

Cherry: Relax Cedric, relax.

                                    Suddenly the door flies open

Kwan: (Throws Charles into room) This jacknut belong to you? Kwan caught him stealing appetizers.

Cherry: Why it’s father.

Charles: Get that crazy fellow away from me.

Cedric: (Boots him in the face, knocks him out) Thank you Kwan.

Kwan: Kwan have black belt in Taekwondo. Get it Tie Kwan Do?

Cherry: He pulled a funny.

Kwan: Pretty girl with red hair like my humor. You hired.

Cherry: Hired for what?

Kwan: To be my daughter. Just gave other one away.

Cedric: Sorry…

Cherry: Sorry Kwan, you’re sweet, but I’m taken.

Kwan: Oh you find man?

Cherry: Actually yes. Cedric.

Kwan: You getting married?

Cherry: Yes.

Kwan: I never thought this bum would. Kwan ecstatic.

Cedric: Thank you Kwan for your confidence in me. It touches the heart.

Kwan: Kwan go handcuff criminal, and call the fuzz.

Cedric: I don’t think they like being called fuzz.

Kwan: Fuzz was a hare, fuzz didn’t dare, to dress in his underwear.

Cedric: You really messed that rhyme up. I’m traumatized.

Kwan: Who care?

Cherry: That was blimey brilliant.

Kwan: Kwan go handcuff bad boy.

Cherry: You sure are prepared.

Kwan: Always. So you two getting married.

Cherry: Yes…

Kwan: I know the perfect place.

Cedric: Where?

Kwan: You find out.

                                    Blackout

                          At the hospital

Kwan: You awake Shirley.

Shirley: Kwan what happened to Charles?

Kwan: He beat up and on his way to jail.

Shirley: Oh Kwan I love you.

Cedric: Mom… Oh mom, I’m never letting go.

Shirley: You’re strangling me. I’m turning blue; I’m losing oxygen.

Cherry: Mrs. Tapinski you are full of hot air. I call a trap.

Cedric: She has you on that one.

Shirley: You two are so cute.

Cedric: (Holds Cherry) Yeah, yeah we are.

Kwan: Perfect place is it not?

Cedric and Cherry: What?

Kwan: Kwan ordained minister.

Cedric: But…

Kwan: Kwan bought two rings for occasion.

Shirley: Oh yay a wedding, a wedding and I’m in my bedding.

Cedric: But…

Cherry: Do you object?

Cedric: No. But who ever heard of getting married in a hospital if you aren’t sick.

Kwan: It’s not where, but what’s deep in the heart.

Shirley: Isn’t Kwan the greatest?

Kwan: Kwan take five years of poetry in homeland. Never understood one word..

Cedric: Well what the hay let’s get married.

Cherry: I insist we do greaser. It is the proper thing to do.

Cedric: But you have no dress.

Cherry: Consider the lily, does it need a dress to be pollinated.

Cedric: Wow we are all ready talking about procreation.

Shirley: Yay Grand- Children!

Cedric: Who, one step at a time.

Kwan: Do you take Ch, Kwan want to say Cherlyn.

Cherry: Yeah?

Cedric: Cherry.

Kwan: No interrupt Kwan! Do you take Cherry to be your lawfully wedded wife?

Cedric: I do. A thousand times over.

Kwan: And do you Cherry take Cedric to be your lawfully wedded husband?

Shirley: Ooh how exciting!

Cherry: With all of myself.

Kwan: Kiss the bride. Or should I say kiss the brides.

                        The two share an amazing kiss

Kwan: So Kwan defeats bad guy, he saves the day. He marries the princess to the prince-. He beats up the dragon with a sycamore cane. He makes a new friend and watched lovers become, all thanks to Kwan and his crazy jargon.

Cherry: Thanks Kwan how can we ever repay you?

Kwan: Ten nine nine plus tax.

                              Blackout

Grandpa: So my dear Children, and my Children’s children, I want you to remember one thing while you are young. Love is mysterious, inviting, and terrifying if you know what I mean. Particularly when you marry a hundred women. I wouldn’t suggest it, but all of her loved me you see. To her dying day she called me greaser. Love is more than you can see, feel or hear, or even think. Love is a Spiritual thing, a deep connection between two people, who drive each other bonkers. That’s all part of it my children. If you think it’s perfect tan you should go see a shrink, cause there is something wrong with your brain. Now get out of here you little farts, Grandpa’s trying to get some blasted shuteye! Yep, I think some of you rubbed off on me Cherry… Life after life after life.

                                                Curtain

                                       Written by Andrew Sorensen